THE ANTI-INSURGENCY DEADLINE
Recently, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo ordered the AFP and PNP to end the insurgency in two years. Earlier, according to the Defense Secretary the time needed to wipe out the NPA is ten years but after the order was given, some quarters said five years is a reasonable time frame to accomplish it. However, since our country is an immense Theater of the Absurd worthy of being staged in the manner of Samuel Beckett or Eugene Ionesco, I think the two-year time frame can be attained.
There are certain factors – not necessarily police or military -- that can be exploited to facilitate the attainment of the Presidential objective – whether in sequence or simultaneously. These are: the schoolroom model, the private military contractors in connection with the wars undertaken by the US in any part of the world, and our erupting volcanoes.
Let me talk about the volcanoes first. According to Phivolcs we have 18 active and 19 inactive volcanoes, and these will aid in eliminating insurgency. If we can mobilize our scientific geniuses who can activate these volcanoes, they can program them to erupt at certain intervals in specific locations in order to flush out the insurgents from their hideouts in those areas. Even if we cannot scientifically activate the volcanoes, their violent stirrings will assist in our national effort. With the threat of being burned to death by the lavas, drowned by the lahar, and suffocated by the volcanic ash the military and police can cordon the area to await their exodus. Whether by truce or surrender, we would be able to round up sizeable numbers of the insurgents. However, if the insurgents who flee from the erupting volcanoes are disguised as “innocent farmers” we would be faced with the problem of handling large numbers of displaced persons that need employment.
This is where the private military contractors (PMC), like the Blackwater company, come in. We can subtly allow these disguised and unemployed insurgents to be recruited as volunteer soldiers or mercenaries to fight the imperial wars of the United States. (We can even extend the arrangement to the Muslim secessionists, although the PMCs might be hesitant to accept them.) Obviously, the remittances from these volunteer soldiers will be a boost to our national finances. We thus solve several problems with this arrangement – unemployment, insurgency, and the strength of our currency.
Additionally, the schoolroom model may solve the insurgency problem. As most of us know by now, the schoolroom shortage was solved in a few hours through a redefinition of terms and conditions. We can eradicate the insurgency problem by repudiating the existence of the NPA by the end of 2008. Or the PGMA Parliament can pass a law abolishing the NPA. Voila! Instead, these armed groups in the mountains will become mere bandits or syndicated extortionists that can be dealt with through police action by the AFP.
There are certain factors – not necessarily police or military -- that can be exploited to facilitate the attainment of the Presidential objective – whether in sequence or simultaneously. These are: the schoolroom model, the private military contractors in connection with the wars undertaken by the US in any part of the world, and our erupting volcanoes.
Let me talk about the volcanoes first. According to Phivolcs we have 18 active and 19 inactive volcanoes, and these will aid in eliminating insurgency. If we can mobilize our scientific geniuses who can activate these volcanoes, they can program them to erupt at certain intervals in specific locations in order to flush out the insurgents from their hideouts in those areas. Even if we cannot scientifically activate the volcanoes, their violent stirrings will assist in our national effort. With the threat of being burned to death by the lavas, drowned by the lahar, and suffocated by the volcanic ash the military and police can cordon the area to await their exodus. Whether by truce or surrender, we would be able to round up sizeable numbers of the insurgents. However, if the insurgents who flee from the erupting volcanoes are disguised as “innocent farmers” we would be faced with the problem of handling large numbers of displaced persons that need employment.
This is where the private military contractors (PMC), like the Blackwater company, come in. We can subtly allow these disguised and unemployed insurgents to be recruited as volunteer soldiers or mercenaries to fight the imperial wars of the United States. (We can even extend the arrangement to the Muslim secessionists, although the PMCs might be hesitant to accept them.) Obviously, the remittances from these volunteer soldiers will be a boost to our national finances. We thus solve several problems with this arrangement – unemployment, insurgency, and the strength of our currency.
Additionally, the schoolroom model may solve the insurgency problem. As most of us know by now, the schoolroom shortage was solved in a few hours through a redefinition of terms and conditions. We can eradicate the insurgency problem by repudiating the existence of the NPA by the end of 2008. Or the PGMA Parliament can pass a law abolishing the NPA. Voila! Instead, these armed groups in the mountains will become mere bandits or syndicated extortionists that can be dealt with through police action by the AFP.
posted by myvja at
7:37 PM
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